If you are dealing with someone who shows narcissistic traits, and you’re feeling like crap, you may be the victim of what’s called narcissistic abuse.
Originally narcissistic abuse only referred to narcissistic parents emotionally abusing their kids, but recently it’s come to refer to abuse perpetuated by a narcissist on anyone, whether child or adult.
Who often falls prey to this kind of abuse? Empathic, kind and sensitive (in a good way) people. You know, folks like you and me.
The narcissist is out to get what is referred to as “narcissistic supply” – the attention and/or admiration of others primarily to get their insatiable needs for power and control met.
Interesting, the victim (us) often finds it hard to leave a relationship with a narcissist despite the abuse – due to a cycle of abuse that makes the victim emotionally dependent on the narcissist’s approval.
Just typing that hurts. 🙂
These relationships typically go through 3 phases:
- The idealization phase where you can do no wrong.
- The devaluation phase where you can do no right.
- And the discarding phase where they dump you for someone else in the most insensitive way they can.
Well, then you’re in the right place.
Sometimes the discarding phase is replaced by a loop of ghosting (they stop all communication) and then hoovering (they suck you back in).
Narcissists are often charming. That a big part of the appeal. But once they have you hooked, they begin the belittling comments, they ignore you, they cheat on you, and often triangulate (bring a 3rd party into the relationship to make you feel like dirt).
They’ll often project their insecurity on you. If they aren’t feeling attractive, they’ll tell you how ugly you are. If they feel like a failure, they’ll call you one.
Under all the abuse is a sense of entitlement and low self-esteem.
If any of this resonates, one of the most important things you can go is to continue your education on what narcissism is – so you can slowly get yourself out of the trap.
We’ve put up a quiz that’ll give you a much better idea if that difficult person in your life could be a narcissist – so go here and take our narcissist quiz.